Back in the late 80's and early 90's, if you like someone of a different race you were known as "being down with the swirl." So if you were white and you liked a black person or vice versa, you were known as being down with the swirl I find white guys attractive and to tell you the truth all my boyfriends from the first one I had at 19yo (he was 35) have been white.
The town I grew up in is Aiken SC so there is not that much free forward thinking at all when it comes to dating or relationships. I bring up this statement because I am sure a lot of people in the gay and black communities would have wanted me to go a more traditional route with dating someone of my own race but there are a few things that got in the way of that.
When I was a kid I did not go out with friends, I stayed to myself, I read a lot, took solace in computers and never developed the typical behavior and mindset of an average person. In writing this, there is not one part of me that believes I am better than anyone by any means, in fact I now understand because I stayed to myself a great deal, I did not get a chance to develop important relational skills with others. So, even to this day I carry those same characteristics from childhood with me as an adult.
The second thing is anytime I do something it was always outside of what people expect me to do. No one expected me to love computers, no one expected me to enjoy writing, no one expected me to like science and Dr. Who (look that up) and damn sure no one expected me to be gay. So, I was not trying to be a rebel without a cause, I just saw the beauty in something different than myself. That does not mean I don't see the beauty in myself or my black community, it is just that white gay men noticed me first and I stuck to what I knew.
I have to admit being in Atlanta has opened my eyes to the beauty of black men and now I am finding more black men sexually attractive because we have so much culture ever evolving but I am taken right now, so evolution has to wait for a moment. heheh...
I wouldn't say no one expected you to like computers or writing...I did and I have always encouraged you. I count myself as lucky for being one of the people that you dated and have gone out with. But if you remember I have seen much more in you than you have seen in yourself, I have pushed you and was hard on you at times only because I wanted you to succeed and be the best I knew you could be and live up to the potential I saw in you. I am glad that I got to know you and have been a part of your life for a long time and I hope that I will be in your life for a while loger yet. Bryan
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