We can't be great at everything

So I came to the conclusion that I suck at writing sci-fi.  The problem is that I get too wrapped up in my stories,  I always have seen myself as the main character in my work.  I tend to write in first person omnipresent POV.

Whether the story is fiction or real I can feel the main character's power or pain. On the other hand it puts my mind in the past because I always feel like I have been through the triumph or tragedy.  If I can't feel the story how can I expect my fans or readers to be in the story with me. 

To end my excerpt trilogy I have an section of writing from where it all began.  Here is a small sample from the first segment of my series FOR THE LOVE OF.  As usual thank you for reading it and I hope you all enjoy it. 

I remember driving down to Atlanta one weekend and getting really worried about David.  We discussed about meeting up that night but I was not sure where he lived. The plan was to call him from the Ansley Mall off Monroe so I could get directions to his house.  

When I got to the designated spot and called David he would not pick up the phone. I started to call him every thirty minutes.  I knew something was surely wrong. 

He finally got back to me and it was good thing too.  Hell, I did not know how to get to his house. While talking to him on the phone the first thing that he said was “Now when you get here please don't say I told you so.” Something was up.  

When I got to David’s house he basically told about being jacked by one of his “friend’s” cousin when he invited both of them to his home. David decided to have a little fun before I came down to visit. 

He said that he knew his friend for a while but he never met the guy’s cousin at all. So while putting a little spin on the game of Monopoly by putting some spanking rules in this dude's cousin took out a knife and stole about one-hundred and fifty bucks and cut my friend on the arm pretty bad. 

I drove David to the hospital where I stayed with him until he got stitched up.  It took about four hours all together. I was a real friend or at least I thought I was trying to be.  After that night I called him a few times but could not get him to answer the phone. 

When I went back to Atlanta some months later I saw him out at the club but I would not talk to him. He came up to me after the club was closed.   He told me that he had depression and the symptoms that comes along with it.  More than he can realize I knew exactly what he was feeling and talking about. 

I may look like a fool

So I may not be as single as I thought.   My boyfriend wanted to have a text message conversation over the internet as usual. We can't have serious conversations in person or at least over the phone.  No, it has to be over the internet.

So he expressed how he was mad at a few things but it could not be about me.  We have not seen each other for a little while with me visiting my hometown of Aiken SC and him bouncing around so much. 

He said the last time we were together we did not spend a lot of time with each other.  Well  that is not my fault.  He was the one helping everyone else as much as possible. He also said that I acted like I did not want to talk to him. I told him I have a blog, a column and books I am trying to write.  

Do I look like a fool? He knows that if he really needs me I will drop all things to listen to what he has to say but he never had need of me to ever do that. So it makes me think is everything alight with him?  If I ask him he will just give me the same old man answer of "everything is ok". 

I guess my book and my work is never done.

I may be single

A few days ago I was just told by my boyfriend of four years that I have not been happy in our relationship for quite a while now. After that he gave this strange goodbye in his message like he was breaking up with me.  It took a few days to contemplate what really was going with him and what is going on in my life.

First how is somebody going to tell another person how they feel in any situation. I realized he has done that a lot in our relationship instead of asking me how I felt. 

Second I am a gay relationship columnist.  How was I going be an expert in gay relationships when I can't seem to make my own work?  Then I figured out I have to be me and give my readers and fans what they want and need. My job is to give what knowledge and wisdom to you that I can from the good, bad and ugly.  However it is my wish to show you all what is beautiful. 

Third if I am single now I don't have time to shut down. I have a world out there that needs exploring.  We can help each other and I plan to put all my energy into that so help me Jesus. hehehehe. 

So I got news for all the so called "stable people".  There is more of us that go through problems than there are of you that feel you have your life together.

Time to get on the soul train.  LOVE PEACE and SOUL.