Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Thank you to my friend Bryan

You know I pride myself of saying what I want to say but I must admit I did not how to explain about my last encounter with my partner or whatever he is supposed to be right now. I know what I want him to be. I want him to be with me but it is obvious that it won't work unless I get myself on top of my game. That means in a place where I am taking care of myself by my own power with my own sweat and work. Someone that wants the best for me will work with me and see me to being the best I possibly can be. But more than that, I feel like I have been done wrong so many times but I just did not want to rock the boat or whine like a little baby about everything.

Bryan had more courage to tell part of my story than I ever did because I did not want known as the stupid one that finds himself in the same dis-empowering situation and don't have the sense to know any better. Everything Bryan said is true http://bryanzepp.blogspot.com/2012/06/games-that-people-play.html.   I want to say thank you to him. 

I love him very much but I am not anyone's punching bag or sad sob entertainment story. If I have to be by myself to get that point across to myself then so be it. Being by myself again does not scare me. I just wanted my partner to be proud of me as I am of myself. Nobody's perception of me shapes my own perspective of myself. I am sure someone wants me to believe that I am a bad person, but with all the games that people play, it would be nice if people have the courage to tell me to my face. 

That is the game that Bryan speaks of. I know what kind of person I am and nobody on this planet will make me feel differently about myself no matter how many times I fail. Yes, I fail and sometimes I fail miserably but true character is not gained through the power of success but it is how we handle failure and I would say that I handle it quite well. 

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