I am listening to my boy Kerrion's song "Never Understand". Check it out on Myspace and represent your boy if you like the song. But like I was saying, I am so disappointed in myself. I so wanted this time in Atlanta to work out.You know, maybe it is silly of me to dwell on the past no matter how recent or distant the event is but I never wanted anything in my life to work out more than my relationship. Now, I have something that I want more than I ever thought possible. No matter how my life turns out, I want to be more than I never dreamed. And yes, I said that right, I never really dreamed past the stars and I now I want that.
It is silly that at 34yo I now have a dream of becoming a writer that touches people. Not even a great writer just a writer that has the ability to move people. That takes talent, you know. Something I am afraid I may not have. Is it politically correct to not fake it till you make it. Is it crazier for a tech geek, turned writer to write about his fear of not having talent to touch people in a real way?
Now I am listening to Ella Fitzgerald "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" which I know many will find nostalgic but I believe is right on time. I guess this hodgepodge of thoughts and accounts is the silent ranting of a man that just wants to understand. It would be nice to have someone give the simple answer I am looking for or give the simple love that endures.
But God, I ask to please give me the talent and skill to do something special and move people in a powerful way.
Greg never doubt yourself. Keep your hope alive, you started writing so long ago, and I told you back then that you needed to continue doing so. One thing I think you need to re-evaluate is the statement you made of having the ability to move people, a writer is a writer because they feel the words inside of them, they write because they need to and want to, they are passionate about it. You are all of those things. So from one professional writer to the next here is a simple answer for you. Don't worry about talent, don't worry about moving people, let your inner voice speak, write it down, and there will be those that listen and hear, they will understand and encourage you. I have been by your side, off and on for the past 9 years of your life, and I have been and always will be your friend, no matter what. We have had our fights, we have had our ins and outs but what I can tell you is that we have always managed to come back together and work it out. Writing is also like that you have your ins and your outs, you have you falling outs and your working it outs, but more than that your inner voice gets to have an outer voice and when you set if free you will see people will hear and listen...trust me I haven't been wrong yet have I?
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